I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
