so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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