4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
