But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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