I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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