in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize