she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
