So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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