Just fell off a train. Bad.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize
