Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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