There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
