Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
