Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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