Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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