You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Barsexuality is the new black.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
