she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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