I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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