So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
