she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize