Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
