is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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