Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
