Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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