Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he was CRYING into my vagina
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize
