Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
