You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
