Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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