I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
