Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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