Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
