i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
