Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
