I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i drank out of a bidet.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
