Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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