Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize