Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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