it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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