come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
