i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
