Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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