Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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