I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
