Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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