shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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