awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
