The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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