This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
