I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
the day after is always just damage control
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
