Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
This is classic penis vs brain.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
