I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
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