what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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