and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
