I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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