I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
