Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
