I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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