idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
