Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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